this sums up the plans for my day so far :D

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: i smell bacon
Stranger: BACON
Stranger: FUCKING WHERE
You: in my bacon butty :D
Stranger: I DON'T KNOW WHAT A BUTTY IS
Stranger: BUT BACON IS STILL FUCKING DELICIOUS
You: sandwich :D
Stranger: GIVE IT TO ME OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT
You: its a British term
Stranger: AND MAKE YOUR DOG WATCH
You: my dog wont give a shit :D
You: and i will still have a belly full of bacon :D
Stranger: THEN I'LL FUCK YOUR DOG AND MAKE YOU WATCH
You: i think the dog and i would rather enjoy that
Stranger: WHAT GENDER IS THIS DOG
You: i could eat my bacon as i watch
You: female
Stranger: WHAT KIND OF DOG
You: jack russel
You: everything you say is very dramatic
Stranger: YES IT IS
Stranger: OKAY YOU LIKE SANDWICHES SO GOD DAMN MUCH
Stranger: What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
You: dead baby's taste nicer?
Stranger: I DON'T FUCK A SANDWICH BEFORE I EAT IT.You: ah yours is better :P
Stranger: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACON
Your conversational partner has disconnected.